Meet Me at the Gloaming

by A.O. Gerber

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1.	Disciple Song 02:47	lyrics	buy track
Laying awake with your old guitar Gripped between my fists Thinking about how you swept away All the lives I might have lived And in your place there’s a marble eye Accumulating dust Present there in the way you were Present with mistrust Everybody’s laughing I can’t see their eyes Everybody’s watching Everybody die Arbiter of my worthiness Arbiter of truth Make me into a melody I can sing when you are through Pantomime my disciple’s song Pantomime my death Hope you got the good seats Hope it’s worth the price of it I can feel you laughing Every time I cry I can see the virtue Draining from your eyes
2.	Walk in the Dark 04:00	lyrics	buy track
Every once in a while I feel whole for once in a while Take my dinner on the porch Mind is clean though my clothes are worn And I still like to walk in the dark And I don’t mind not knowing what you are Every once in a while I feel whole for once in a while And I don’t fear Tell me do you ever Want to stay like this forever? Waste the current of our hours Just because the current’s ours We could feel the fall of autumn Watch the leaves grow soft and solemn While the waves are getting thicker Feel the light give way to flicker Drown it all You won’t I still like to walk in the dark And I don’t mind not knowing what you are
3.	Looking for the Right Things 03:39	lyrics	buy track
Your head in the crook of my arm Heaven’s not a word that I’d use for this But my sentiment’s warm I’m taking pains to erase it but I know it exists I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right things Looking for the right I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right In your car heading seaward I can’t explain all the tears I shed But my body feels violent I’m taking cover in silence Though I try to resist I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right things Looking for the right I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right things Looking for the right I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right Your name flashing over my cell screen How did we learn to connect like this? I just wanna feel clean I’m missing someone I knew once Now she doesn’t exist I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right things Looking for the right I’m looking for the right things Looking for the right
4.	You Got It Right 03:33	lyrics	buy track
I have six years down In a solid state But I still throw your words around When they come to me Dripping white paint Lately I find myself Torn between two minds I know how to hide myself ‘Cause you taught me that You got it right When you said I was crazy You got it right You got it right When you said I was crazy You got it right All my heroes dead Couldn’t wait it out So I kneel beside Praise the blood-red stain On my pillow Keep trying to find myself Framed between old lies Trying hard not to hide myself But you taught me that You got it right When you said I was crazy You got it right You got it right When you said I was crazy You got it right
5.	Mount Washington Phone Company 03:53	lyrics	buy track
Fill me up I never know how to say enough And they’re watching me dance like it’s an apology So I stare at my screen Text you something I know I don’t mean ‘Cause I’m bored and tired of not feeling anything And I’m taking a walk to try and level out Watch the blues shift to pink in the golden hour Making dinner alone Listening to songs that I wish I wrote And I’m feeling reckless and insecure You say you’d come if you could And we both know that you really would So I have to admit to myself I don’t want you to So I turn up the music to drown me out Go to sleep after two ‘cause I’m too scared of missing out I will never follow through Will you still trust me to?
6.	Hunger 02:51	lyrics	buy track
I’ve been thinking about hunger How I eat when I am tired They call that “transfiguration” Make me into something wild Turn myself into your doorway Make you think it’s soft inside Barbeque outside my window While the world is still on fire Wish that I could pay attention Write it down so I don’t speak Be the person you imagine Cardboard cutout of the week But I feel stupid for pretending Tell myself to act my age But in the mirror your face looks smaller Am I the thing that needs to change? Lonely hunger Put me under If I had met you in the schoolyard When I used to own my name Would you still know me as a child Full of god and free of shame? Now I see bruises where there are none Coverup across my cheek I fill my basket up with groceries That I’m too afraid to eat
7.	For 03:45	lyrics	buy track
Telephone on the wire I’m awake when you call But I’m not around And I can feel the weight of your need Growing lush like a tide pool In the waning of spring More More More More You show up covered in blush And we laugh till we cry Choose a color I don’t mind ‘Cause I can see the light where you can’t Say you’re counting your days Did I take it the wrong way? Or? Or? Or? Or? Speeding west on I-10 I can’t see the horizon Think you found the wound in my chest Two hands on it But I see your right arm Painted in a spiral Something you will always regret Bleeding for For For For For Tell you I’d come if I could But I’m doing my hair With an ear full of metal So who am I trying to save? Is it you from yourself Or is it me from the heartache?
8.	Just as a Child 03:44	lyrics	buy track
There’s a song that I wrote once about you but It’s one that I never play I promised I’d send it and never did Well you wouldn’t understand all the words anyways And you’d ask for the meaning a million times Now we’re walking the short path But it’s taking an hour still Reach my hand out to brace you from falling You meet my eyes and you tell me you’re not going down And I know that you’re lying at least to yourself Sure, you’re not going down You worship freedom and certainty In the temple you bought yourself Well I want freedom for everything living But you keep begging for me to please think of myself And I’d much rather think about anything else I’m so sick of myself Light the candle and watch as it burns in its well I’m so sick of myself and my reasons And what if we just have the season? So did I take you for granted Or was I just as a child is? Getting trashed at the movie you brought me to Roll my eyes at the scene where you try not to cry And if I take that for granted then what am I? I still hate when you cry
9.	Noon of Love 03:45	lyrics	buy track
And after all our time is wasted I’ll let it die inside my hands Unburdened flower, not self-effacing Still linger on this cold romance I’ve traveled four ways on the highway Often in light that frames the dawn Dull cigarette, you pass it my way Not breathing in or letting go Oh, and now I’ve found More is waiting in the limbs of the crowd Ill to all I’ve sung Hardened melodies I haven’t yet begun Oh, all love is wasted Passing hands like sunken fingertips I’ve known And I eat time In the most expected fashion Hungry like the noon of love Blind to all its codependence Can we settle our scores for now? Can we find the slow way in? ‘Cause I need hope For the most familiar reasons Hungry like the bird of prey Flying southward for the season I lose touch with all I’ve answered
10.	PFS 03:11	lyrics	buy track
Say I won’t disappear
11.	What Are You Reading? 00:39	info	buy track
12.	Only Mystery 03:11	lyrics	buy track
Show me what’s been on your mind Say, “it’s only mystery” The only lines you ever read So I’m leaning in To the pages I don’t have on you Taking my time letting you do the things you do When time’s the only thing that I don’t have And who made sure of that? Thought we’d find it hard to talk You with both your eyes closed Asking where you were In the years I called our backyard home Lost my tooth sitting in bed alone Weep for the woman I’ve become It’s all the good I’ve ever done By you Was I good enough? Did I try to make the lyrics say too much? Did I swallow it before you’d filled your cup? Did I measure it the way you would measure it? Am I measured enough? So I won’t have to lie When you’re gone

about

On her new album, Meet Me at the Gloaming, Los Angeles-based singer, songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer, A.O. Gerber carefully grapples with the constraints she was taught as a child to reach for the flourishing that comes when we look past the black and white, and into the gray gauze of the in-between. “I was thinking about how damaging it can be to exist in that binary space of good and evil,” Gerber explains. “When we see everything in either/or’s, we lose the nuance and complexity that make life rich enough to be worth living.” By interlocking memory and imagination, Gerber crafts a gleaming future, where the light and the dark don’t just coexist––they create a new color entirely.

Gerber’s debut LP, Another Place To Need (2020), garnered critical acclaim for its candid, orchestral ruminations on splintered relationships and the cage of overthinking. While that record took three years to complete, and saw Gerber collaborate with much of her musical community in Los Angeles and the Bay Area – including Sasami, Madeline Kenney, Marina Allen, and Noah Weinman (Runnner) – Gerber stripped back the team for Meet Me at the Gloaming. Once again co-producing with Madeline Kenney, Gerber shunned the usual process of seeking constant feedback, and instead leaned into a more isolated process, later producing much of the record at home. “I found a lot of healing while making this record because I had to be the person to call the shots,” she says. “I realized that I can exist as a musician completely outside of other people’s opinions of me.” Recording at Kenney’s home studio on nights and weekends in-between their day jobs, Alex Oñate joined Gerber and Kenney on drums while Gerber also collaborated remotely with Megan Benavente on bass and Lauren Elizabeth Baba on violin and viola.

This somewhat secluded process serves as a mirror to the deeply introspective and thoughtful nature of Meet Me at the Gloaming. Here, Gerber explores her upbringing, much of which took place under the watchful gaze of a spiritual teacher who led her mother to completely uproot their lives and move the family from Northern California to Southern Oregon. But this isn’t a scathing composition of redemption or revenge; instead, Gerber parses out her own history with care and grace. “It can be difficult to write about your childhood when you have a lot of shame around it,” she explains. “I wanted to approach it from multiple perspectives, to try to hold the complexity of formative experiences and relationships and resist the temptation to over-simplify them.”

Meet Me at the Gloaming is certainly an album that pierces grief head-on but it’s not without hope or certainty. Like curtains strong enough to block the view, but thin enough to let in the light, Gerber is reclaiming the meaning of goodness, where the harsh overwhelming brightness is dimmed to a beautiful, iridescent blue. During the gloaming we are between two spaces, two worlds, two selves and it’s here that we can fully embrace everything that we are.

credits

released October 14, 2022

Produced by A.O. Gerber, Madeline Kenney, Danny Reisch
Mixed by Danny Reisch, Assisted by Max Lorenzen at Good Danny's in Lockhart, TX
Mastered by Max Lorenzen at Rare Ear

A.O. Gerber: Vocals, guitar, piano, and synth; bass on “Walk in the Dark” and “Noon of Love”
Madeline Kenney: Guitar, synth, piano, vocals
Alex Oñate: Drums
Megan Benavente: Bass
Lauren Elizabeth Baba: String arrangements; Violin, viola

Additional features
Sam Gendel: Saxophone on “What Are You Reading?” & “Only Mystery”
Gabe Goodman: Additional production, bass, and guitar on “Hunger”
Thomas Berg: Bass on “Looking for the Right Things”
Adam Johnson: Additional drums on “Looking for the Right Things”
Nate Lichtenberger: Acoustic guitar, cymbal, and additional synth on “Noon of Love”

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A.O. Gerber Los Angeles, California

A.O. Gerber is a singer-songwriter based in Los Angeles, CA.

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